conversation 1

1.) hello my little cantalope!

how r u?

2.) i feel like a ragdoll. throwing myself into the walls of the asylum.

not necessarily a bad feeling but not even close to good

1.) umm...why do u feel like that? explain, please.

im sorry ///.- <===emo smiley

2.) i don't know. i feel like i'm in quicksand. and it's taking forever to consume me. i feel so static. but inside i feel so raw, so beaten. i feel like i bashed my head with a baseball bat. even though i don't know it. i feel empty, even though i keep throwing anything and everything down there. i been logical about this i been irrational about this. and i just end up wit the same conclusion. that i am scared. i am scared shitless. don't ask about what. because whatever you assume is correct.... at least in some way or manner. i'm damn near scared of everything right now. i don't know who i am or what happened to me that i have become this person in a few days, im afraid that this is a phase that i'll pass through because that means i'm still changing. and that means i'm not constant. i'm like an irregular heartbeat--fatal. maybe i just had a realization that i'm dying in the end. maybe because i cant every have a healthy relationship and i feel like time is slowly leaving my side. maybe because when i try to see my future. i just don't exist